Sometimes I just wanna know.  I wanna know so I don’t have to guess or think.  I wanna know everything!  Gimme gimme facts facts facts.  Weeeeeeeeeee



intoxicology:

Oh my god, I can’t.
He’s drunk.

LOL!!!

intoxicology:

Oh my god, I can’t.

He’s drunk.

LOL!!!

(Source: love-music-and-style)



  • Me: WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS
  • Her: lmfao *confizzled*
  • Me: you have no say
  • Her: i'm cool with that
  • Me: you're a pisces, imma scorpio
  • Me: your name is Jackie, and mine is Jill
  • Her: hahahaha
  • Me: WE WERE MEANT TO BE YO
  • Her: MEANT TO BEEE
  • Her: haha
  • Me: lololol
  • Her: that is the sign there, did I just hear you laugh?


Will you tolerate
the strangeness inside of me,
the quirks of my soul?


creativekuya said: The pursuit of happiness is a pursuit. Can’t blame anyone getting tired along the way…

I suppose I can’t.  But I feel like such a fool after they get tired and I’m left with nothing but unanswered questions.



Is it…

always just about the chase?  I feel like I have no one right now.  I don’t want to disrupt anyone’s happiness.  But I’m at such a lost and so utterly confused.  I wish I understood.



I am so excited that two of my friends are getting married.  It seems the only positive sure thing in my life right now and so I’m latching onto it.  

Maid of Honor reporting for duty!  I am going to do everything I can to bring as much laughter and happiness to everyone involve so help me!



Thinking aloud

Every part of me rejects him.  All the movements are wrong and out of order.  Sifu said he loved me when I was younger, yet I haven’t the fondest memories.  I was always punished and disciplined with bamboo sticks, my little treasures were always thrown away.  He tried to make me into what he thought females were suppose to be.  Obedient, and servers of tea and alcohol.  But I’m nothing like that at all, if anything my mother taught me to be a strong independent woman who can stand on her own.

And as predicted, he starts uttering all the speeches I didn’t want to hear right after I picked him up from the airport.  ”Why don’t you go to church” listing all the superficial reasons as if his opinion carried any worth to me.  ”H’s a mother now you know?” in that condescending tone of disapproval that I’m still unmarried with no children.  Sorry.  I don’t really give a shit.  There’s no reason for you to try and influence me in anyway shape or form.  You gave that right up 15 years ago.  

So then I started thinking.  Have I been wrong all these years?  Has my anger and indifference been misplaced.  Can I really blame him for not being able to stay with my mother and work things out?  Will I suffer the same fate?  This, I think, is the underlying utmost fear I have.  But I’d like to think I at least know love and love in return.  My mother was not so fortunate.  

Well then, can I?  Would you be emotionally detached towards a father that has shown little affection or concern in your point of view.  Have I gotten it all wrong?

I really dislike the way he talks about my mother.  She’s the woman that raised my brother and I.  She didn’t just bail and give up.  I’ve watched her work as hard as humanly possible to support the family she had.  You rarely paid any child support.  Am I still angry?  It’s not like I was completely naive at the time.  I saw you do outrageous things.  You didn’t want to live with another family.  Your threats.  You ruined two families in the process, is that what you wanted?

He said he didn’t like Long Island.  But how could he not understand that it was better than Brooklyn to raise a family?  That the school in the suburbs knocks the public schools in the city out of the park.  In that, it is completely selfish.  Think of your kids, not just what you want.  And I don’t know if I can forgive him for that.  So now your new wife moved back to China because she doesn’t like the States.  Now you’re proposing we all live together like a family again.  To which, I can’t help but laugh.  It’s impossible and improbable, everyone is too proud.  And I don’t want to hear your unreasonable bs.  I rather like my brain cells and wish they’d stick around.

For now, I hid all the liquor.  Placating all the demands you suggest and not answer you when you ask why I don’t do something.  I’ll pull the dumbfounded card as well as you do.

EDIT: NOPE.  HE’S A SELFISH ASSHOLE JUST LIKE I REMEMBERED.  And the expectations of serving him are still there.  Fuck you.



Live Love Laugh: The Scorpio Woman

The Scorpio Woman

        If you’re a man interested in a true Scorpio woman, let me give you an insight into her personality and then you can decide if you really want to (or should) pursue her.  

        She doesn’t like weakness.  I don’t mean that you have to be physically strong, although that trait is attractive to her.  What a Scorpio woman is more interested in is strength of character.  She wants someone who is ambitious and courageous.  She has great respect for a man who is willing to stand up for his rights and what he believes in and who is willing to work hard and to sacrifice in order to achieve his goals.  She isn’t easily impressed, but tends to have much greater regard for a self-made man than someone who has inherited his wealth and/or power.  Neither type will interest her, though, if they are conceited, pretentious, or crass.  She considers those traits as signs of a person’s inner “weakness” as well.  She is a paradox to those who are not able to understand her Scorpio heart.  She seems so strong and independent—and she is.  If the situation requires it, she will step in and take control.  Like her male counterpart, she can be incredibly calm in a stressful situation.  But deep in her heart, she craves a man who is stronger than she is.

“It was difficult to say no to this man.  He had a forceful, commanding way about him that surprisingly didn’t threaten her.  No other man she had ever known had been able to dominate or control her and if they had tried, she had rebelled.  In every other relationship, she had been the strong one, the one who made all of the decisions and took control of situations; it was who she was, and yet, it diminished her respect for the man that she was with.  It was different with [him].  With him, she knew that he was the dominant one—he wouldn’t let her get away with evading questions or give in to her just because she wanted him to—but for some reason, she didn’t mind.  With him, she preferred it that way.  Perhaps she had always been looking for a man who could tame her spirit without breaking it and who would take the lead without leaving her behind.  Or perhaps it was because his forcefulness was tempered with love and gentleness and she instinctively knew that he would never abuse his position to hurt her.”  
(Excerpt fromScorpio Love - click to read excerpts about Scorpio attraction, love, jealousy, and trust from the popular book about a Scorpio-Scorpio relationship where the female is a Scorpio-Eagle.)  

        Don’t try to woo her with insincere compliments. A Scorpio woman hates empty compliments or romantic gestures if that’s all they are—gestures. A single rose or her favorite candy bar presented to her for no reason at all except that you were thinking of her touches her heart more than a roomful of bouquets on Valentine’s Day.  

       Don’t think that you can lie to her or hide things from her.  She may not call you on it right away but it’s true what they say about Scorpios—they have a kind of sixth sense that tells them when a person is being evasive or secretive.   If she suspects that you are hiding something from her, she will dig until she finds out what it is.  All Scorpios are superb investigators.  

         If she is seriously interested in you and you say that you want to commit to a relationship, you had better mean it.  If you stray, she won’t forgive you.  Infidelity represents weakness to her.  It means that you are not strong enough (or smart enough) to resist the games that other women play and that you don’t know the meaning of love and commitment which are two things that are extremely important to her.  It also means that you can’t be trusted and trust, as you’ve already been told, is a major issue with Scorpios - female and male.   If you’re lucky, she’ll just walk away and from that moment on, you’ll simply be non-existent to her.  Meet her at a gathering and she’ll look right through you.  For a woman who can be so passionate, it’s amazing how, when she no longer likes you or trusts you, she can be colder than ice.  If you’re not so lucky and happen to injure a Scorpio who’s not quite so “evolved”, then all I can say is … well, remember that old saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?”  I have a feeling that the author of that saying was remembering his encounter with a Scorpio woman.  The actual quote, by the way, goes like this:

Heav’n has no rage like love to hatred turn’d
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.

Sounds like a Scorpio woman to me.  

            Even if you somehow convince her to stay with you and to say that she’s forgiven you, her heart will always hold your indiscretion against you, she will never fully trust you again, and more than likely during a subsequent argument, she will throw your wandering ways in your face.  The sad truth is, even if she remains with you for whatever reason (children, financial considerations, etc.), she has lost her respect for you and a Scorpio can never truly love someone who she doesn’t respect.

            If she loves you and trusts you and believes in your goals, she will be your strongest and most loyal supporter. She will do anything within her power to help you achieve those goals and with her sixth sense, she is able to tell you who can be trusted and who cannot.  She won’t care if the outside world gives her any credit for her contribution to your success as long as YOU appreciate her and respect her.  Once she’s pledged her heart to you, you become the most important thing in her world.  Her kind of love is not for the faint of heart or for someone who is only seeking a trophy wife or a mother substitute.  She won’t be happy if you try to make her play those roles.  She is intelligent and insightful and she wants a man who respects her for those qualities, not just for what she’s able to do in the bedroom.



cutethingswin:

Original “Siren” pin-up design by Starrbird Productions

cutethingswin:

Original “Siren” pin-up design by Starrbird Productions



I went to church with my family tonight and the pastor said something that I think every Christian should hear

  • Pastor: Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin.
  • Couple of older males in the audience: Amen!
  • Pastor: Now, wait, I'm not finished.
  • Pastor: You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce.
  • -uncomfortable silence-
  • Pastor: There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned.
  • Pastor: Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce.
  • Pastor: We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel.
  • Pastor: The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know.
  • -the pastor shifts a few notes around-
  • Pastor: The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage.
  • Pastor: So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way.


Duties of an estranged daughter

Biological Dad.  Well.  Maybe just dad, because it’s not like I have any male figure in my life that I would refer to as a dad.  So.  Dad, father.  Whatever.

He decided it would be a superb idea to come visit me out of the blue this Sunday.  Mind you, we have not seen each other in almost 2 years.  And the last meeting consisted of maybe 30minutes of dim sum and a walk around the block in silence and broken Cantonese.  Maybe some drops of English.  So now, he’s staying a few days.  

What am I going to do with a strange man in my house for a few days?  If he seriously tries to rationalize one more time about how he was not man enough to stay around I am going to…I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I will need wine.  Lots of wine.  And cuddles with my furry four legged love.



Starrbird Productions’ first mini collection debut @ ArtPool Gallery’s 5th Anniversary

Starrbird Productions’ first mini collection debut @ ArtPool Gallery’s 5th Anniversary



I flipped all the MountainDew cans over and left one right-side up. Shook the shit out of it.

  • Me: kekeke
  • Syra: Did you just kekeke?
  • Me: /smiles
  • Syra: you're so wonderfully evil


Exhausted I wait
patiently for gentle hands
to hold me tonight.