Sometimes I just wanna know. I wanna know so I don’t have to guess or think. I wanna know everything! Gimme gimme facts facts facts. Weeeeeeeeeee
- Me: WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS
- Her: lmfao *confizzled*
- Me: you have no say
- Her: i'm cool with that
- Me: you're a pisces, imma scorpio
- Me: your name is Jackie, and mine is Jill
- Her: hahahaha
- Me: WE WERE MEANT TO BE YO
- Her: MEANT TO BEEE
- Her: haha
- Me: lololol
- Her: that is the sign there, did I just hear you laugh?
Will you tolerate
the strangeness inside of me,
the quirks of my soul?
creativekuya said: The pursuit of happiness is a pursuit. Can’t blame anyone getting tired along the way…
I suppose I can’t. But I feel like such a fool after they get tired and I’m left with nothing but unanswered questions.
always just about the chase? I feel like I have no one right now. I don’t want to disrupt anyone’s happiness. But I’m at such a lost and so utterly confused. I wish I understood.
I am so excited that two of my friends are getting married. It seems the only positive sure thing in my life right now and so I’m latching onto it.
Maid of Honor reporting for duty! I am going to do everything I can to bring as much laughter and happiness to everyone involve so help me!
Every part of me rejects him. All the movements are wrong and out of order. Sifu said he loved me when I was younger, yet I haven’t the fondest memories. I was always punished and disciplined with bamboo sticks, my little treasures were always thrown away. He tried to make me into what he thought females were suppose to be. Obedient, and servers of tea and alcohol. But I’m nothing like that at all, if anything my mother taught me to be a strong independent woman who can stand on her own.
And as predicted, he starts uttering all the speeches I didn’t want to hear right after I picked him up from the airport. ”Why don’t you go to church” listing all the superficial reasons as if his opinion carried any worth to me. ”H’s a mother now you know?” in that condescending tone of disapproval that I’m still unmarried with no children. Sorry. I don’t really give a shit. There’s no reason for you to try and influence me in anyway shape or form. You gave that right up 15 years ago.
So then I started thinking. Have I been wrong all these years? Has my anger and indifference been misplaced. Can I really blame him for not being able to stay with my mother and work things out? Will I suffer the same fate? This, I think, is the underlying utmost fear I have. But I’d like to think I at least know love and love in return. My mother was not so fortunate.
Well then, can I? Would you be emotionally detached towards a father that has shown little affection or concern in your point of view. Have I gotten it all wrong?
I really dislike the way he talks about my mother. She’s the woman that raised my brother and I. She didn’t just bail and give up. I’ve watched her work as hard as humanly possible to support the family she had. You rarely paid any child support. Am I still angry? It’s not like I was completely naive at the time. I saw you do outrageous things. You didn’t want to live with another family. Your threats. You ruined two families in the process, is that what you wanted?
He said he didn’t like Long Island. But how could he not understand that it was better than Brooklyn to raise a family? That the school in the suburbs knocks the public schools in the city out of the park. In that, it is completely selfish. Think of your kids, not just what you want. And I don’t know if I can forgive him for that. So now your new wife moved back to China because she doesn’t like the States. Now you’re proposing we all live together like a family again. To which, I can’t help but laugh. It’s impossible and improbable, everyone is too proud. And I don’t want to hear your unreasonable bs. I rather like my brain cells and wish they’d stick around.
For now, I hid all the liquor. Placating all the demands you suggest and not answer you when you ask why I don’t do something. I’ll pull the dumbfounded card as well as you do.
EDIT: NOPE. HE’S A SELFISH ASSHOLE JUST LIKE I REMEMBERED. And the expectations of serving him are still there. Fuck you.
Original “Siren” pin-up design by Starrbird Productions
I went to church with my family tonight and the pastor said something that I think every Christian should hear
- Pastor: Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin.
- Couple of older males in the audience: Amen!
- Pastor: Now, wait, I'm not finished.
- Pastor: You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce.
- -uncomfortable silence-
- Pastor: There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned.
- Pastor: Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce.
- Pastor: We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel.
- Pastor: The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know.
- -the pastor shifts a few notes around-
- Pastor: The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage.
- Pastor: So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way.
Duties of an estranged daughter
Biological Dad. Well. Maybe just dad, because it’s not like I have any male figure in my life that I would refer to as a dad. So. Dad, father. Whatever.
He decided it would be a superb idea to come visit me out of the blue this Sunday. Mind you, we have not seen each other in almost 2 years. And the last meeting consisted of maybe 30minutes of dim sum and a walk around the block in silence and broken Cantonese. Maybe some drops of English. So now, he’s staying a few days.
What am I going to do with a strange man in my house for a few days? If he seriously tries to rationalize one more time about how he was not man enough to stay around I am going to…I don’t know what I’m going to do. I will need wine. Lots of wine. And cuddles with my furry four legged love.
I flipped all the MountainDew cans over and left one right-side up. Shook the shit out of it.
- Me: kekeke
- Syra: Did you just kekeke?
- Me: /smiles
- Syra: you're so wonderfully evil
Exhausted I wait
patiently for gentle hands
to hold me tonight.