Dreamlog 07/25/14

I don’t know what I’ve been doing lately but my dreams are not nice.

Was at a close friend’s house, but I don’t know who it was.  She had a baby and a delusional, violent ex.  She went to hide somewhere and I was standing between the ex and him moving any further.  I think he wanted to take the baby away.  All of a sudden, knives were in the picture.  He was waving them at me and eventually cutting and stabbing my forearms.

I woke up.

Fell back asleep.

I was on the futon with my dog during a sunny afternoon.  The ex was back and he was trying to take my dog.

I woke up again…What kind of person would do that?  That’s insane.

Mash-Up Issues: When Standards Collide



The great thrill of being a Mash-Up is living as a bridge between cultures. But it can also mean living with clashing expectations of how you behave, how you speak, how you look — of how you live. Our Korean-American Mash-Up Joanne shares with us what it’s like to…

There are many similarities I’ve gone through as a Chinese-American.  I’m a little taller and a little bigger.  When I go overseas I feel like this bloated giant with a foreign accent and I can barely read what’s supposedly my native language.

Chinese is hard!  I’ve only went up to 4th grade in Chinese school when I was younger.  And since then, I have not used it or practiced it.  Much of that knowledge is gone.  My mother is Chinese from Malaysia and she went to an English school.  She couldn’t read or write the characters and so there was no passing down of the art but we both can speak it.  There really isn’t much of an Asian community where I live either (Florida) and even if there is, it isn’t my “flavor” of Asian.

Dreamlog 07/22/14

Haven’t done one of these in awhile.  This morning, in a span of an hour, this is what my brain gave to me.

There was a group of us and we were going to a play rehearsal.  We were going to carpool but I might have to leave early and wanted to drive myself.  When I got to the parking lot, my car was not where I parked it.

Someone I made angry decided drive my car into a lake.  It was some sort of apartment complex setting.  I was shocked, panicky and furious.  Pausing for a few minutes, I was trying to figure out what to do.  Should I call the cops?  Yes.  So I called the cops told them what happened.

Went to go look for S.  For some reason, he was older and fatter.  He was playing poker or something and drinking.  I told him what happened and he didn’t care.  Continued drinking and playing and I ended it.

After that, I was crying.  L was living in the apartment/duplex thing I was at and I started to tell her what happened.  Cop came.  He was my age and decent looking.  He was trying to calm me down and was actually treating me very nicely.  We went around town or something, I’m not sure.

I woke up.

This morning I got a speeding ticket.

What happened?

I’m often amazed at the friendships of others when they announce that they’ve been friends from childhood.  I wonder what the common denominator is.  Is it so hard to meet people nowadays?  Is there a match.com for friendship without the expectation of something more?  Did I move too much when I was younger?  Am I too picky?  Are people too finicky?

I have no idea but I do wish I had a core group of friends that I grew up with or even that I could just be around.  At every stage of my life, I’ll have people to hang out with and such but I never really fit in.  Everyone is so cliquey (especially Asians).  If you weren’t there from the start, you can forget about it.  And then everyone else thinks you’re foreign.  Or, they hang out with shady people.  I want nothing to do with shady people, or leeches, or the things that can’t do anything for themselves.

Maybe I’m too picky.  I’m not going to change that about me though.  Oh well.

Karma’s a bitch, so why are you taking it out on me?

Fullhouse Thai ver.: How to get your bf to eat food he doesn’t like.

Totally doing this.

I have been baking massive amounts of chocolate chip cookies lately because my bf loves them so.  Yesterday, I brought the cookie dough over to his house and started to bake them in the oven.

The scent was wonderful and the first batch was done.  I put them on the cooling rack and we’re both looking at them.  I’m happy because they smell delicious and look gorgeous.  

Sean and I were scoping the cookies one by one.  He’s adorable in the way that, he always points to his favorite one first.  That one will be his victim and it will bring such joy to his being.  He asked if he could have one yet, and I told him my method of choosing.

"I always eat the ugly ones first."

There’s a slight pause.  He then makes a sour, frowning face and frantically points to a cookie.


Unstoppable laughter ensues and the cookie does not live another minute.

Some people have different hearts y’know?
My friend, Batman

After a year, still smitten

  • Him: You're so gosh darn cute and lovable
  • Me: What did I do?
  • Him: I don't know. Been born lol. I enjoy every night with you

You remind me of the ancient people. Like a goddess, when you look up sometimes. You have beautiful bone structure.
the beau, while I was driving

Dreams, dreams, dreams.  Many dreams as of late.  All quite random and multiple dream occurrences in one night.

My roommates cat had kittens and nobody in the house knew.  There was a little cat house setup in her closet and she was hiding her kittens there.  

And thennnnnnn….

I dreamt that there was a minefield of baby possums in my backyard.

I also worked on some sort of mechanical project with a friend but we were stealing all the parts for it and the setting was something like “Gone in 60 Seconds”.

That was a few nights ago.

Last night.
I had a dream that referenced 2 of my exes.  I have no idea why.  lol  WHY?


by- Eszter Törékwww.esztertorek.tumblr.com(thank you everyone SO much :))


by- Eszter Törék

(thank you everyone SO much :))

Screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamming in my head.  All the screams

Sean & I went to Queen of Sheba for dinner last night.  Neither of us ever had Ethiopian food before, we were so excited!  It was as if you walked into a different world.  A bit of a hole in the wall feel however the decor was intriguing.  Historic art work and bits of information of the Ethiopian culture.

I wanted to try their coffee but didn’t think it was a good idea.  I didn’t fall asleep until 1:30am without it, lol.  They had a coffee ceremony for two that I hope to experience.  We sat at one of the booths with a woven round table and a lid.  Ordered the “Queen’s Eight Platter” and a glass of Ethiopian wine.  

The wine was really fragrant and fruity but had a little spice to it.  It was pretty good, I knew Sean would like it because it was sweeter than other wines.  When the platter came out with Injera and we just dove right in.  It was amazing and we cleaned the plate.  Forgot to take any pictures though.

There is no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy women.
Said to me in Chinese by Andy, the hairstylist in Cali I went to