Confusion of old vs best friendship-wise is breaking my heart.

Rise above with wings of glory
carried by the colors of love and empathy
Soar with grace through turbulent vices
and shower the world with enlightened kindness

The omg I’m my mother moment. Yeah, I just had it. Ok! Time to change it up

I seem to be in a funk lately and I’m not sure how to get out of it. I feel stressed and frustrated. Easily overwhelmed it seems, which only adds to the stress. Trying to stay current in everything but it feels unreal. Reading the news makes me feel like we’re in some bizarre Netflix show.

I’m noticing I’m becoming more reclusive lately. I don’t want to socialize with people too much. I don’t want to force interactions and make nice. But the problem with that is when you do want to socialize, you won’t have anyone to do that with. Or you’re an awkward turtle, choking on plastic and other careless garbage people toss.

I had a dream all my teeth fell out. It was terrifying.

We watched Crazy Rich Asians last night and really enjoyed it! I laughed, I cried. It was incredibly cool to see some of the sights in Singapore because we were just there. And omg that wedding. Holy crap!

• Impromptu porch parties with Focus Group , I love my friends. This happens almost every weekend and I’m all about it. We usually get some snacks, some beers and chill on the porch. Play monopoly deal and talk about what’s going on in our lives.
  
• Hot water - I just paid $6000 to get a repipe of my house and I love my showers. I love that there’s no loss in water pressure if more than one sink or shower is running. And omg, we can even do laundry at the same time without our shower suffering or interrupted. *que heavenly sound clip of angels singing*
  
• I finally go to try this new taco place Moises has been raving about. It had cute, decorated avocados on the walls. Very clean, open and simple. The way the place was set up, it would seem impossible for it to fail.

Weird thought. I just read/skimmed an article about the red tides in Florida and how it’s due to pollution due to various factors including pesticides from farming and etc.

Imagine if Native Americans were the majority on the planet and we practiced their culture more. Would the earth be so out of whack right now? Because they have such respect for the earth.

https://www.facebook.com/thevintagenews/videos/1851070124968093/

Snollygoster 
a person who has intelligence but no principles

Peg Puff
a young woman with the manners of an old one

Fudgel
the act of giving the impression of working but actually doing nothing

Twattling
gossiping idly about unimportant things

Grumbletonians
people who are angry or unhappy with government

Hum Durgeon
an immaginary illness

Groke
someone who stares at you hoping you’ll share your food

Shivviness
the uncomfortable feeling of wearing new underwear

Crapulous
feeling ill as a result of eating too much food

Mugwump
somebody in charge who affects to be above petty squabbles

Dysania
state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning

Hugger Mugger
secretive or covert behavior

Elflock
describes tangle hair as if matted by elves

Ultracrepidarian
someone who gives opinions on subjects they know nothing about

Trumpery
things that look good but are basically worthless

Jargogle
to confuse or jumble up

Callipygian
having beautiful, well shaped buttocks

Lanspresado
someone who always convieniently shows up with no money

Cockalorum
a small man with a big opinion of himself

Zwodder
to be in a drowsy, fuzzy state

The defensiveness of anything racially related among white people is unreal. I’m correcting your stupidity and ignorance but you call me sensitive.

I’m not Americanized because I don’t have an accent. I am American, you twat.

I just started bawling in uncontrollable spurts while I was in the shower. Anticipating Hurricane Irma has got me quite emotional. I don’t want to add to any stress of others so I’m writing it here. I’m scared and nervous as fuck. My bf is a nurse and he’s got to work and stay in the hospital through this hurricane. Color me selfish but I wish he could just hunker down with me.

It breaks my fucking heart. It really does. But I don’t want to write people off just because my heart is breaking. I want to understand how they can be so ignorant and I want them to not be ignorant. However, if all this shit that’s happened doesn’t open your eyes, I really don’t know what to do, say or think about you. If your stance has changed or if you did wake the fuck up can we please have a conversation about it?

Dreamlog 7/19/2017

I was leaving a place at night, not clear where it was. Got into my car, closed the door. Someone was approaching and I went to push the lock button but wasn’t quick enough. Kidnapped. Taken somewhere underground several levels. It was a sort of cult and I wasn’t allowed outside. I had to be extremely cautious, but I made holes in the ceilings and climbed my way up. One level at a time. There were others taken there too, I remember one person insinuating I had an advantage because I could climb.

Good morning, Friday! I love you the best. I feel so lucky right now because of the simplest good morning text. The nicknames in different languages he says make me smile. Plus my coffee is absolutely perfect today. Yay!